Have you ever noticed how often things seem to happen related to a previous meeting? I do a fair amount of networking and meet with new and interesting people all the time, and invariably within a short time of chatting to them and finding out what they do, and the sort of clients they are looking for, I bump into just the person they are looking for. Only last week I met someone looking for a job and within 24 hours I was talking with a client who needs to find someone just like him! Of course it doesn’t always work out, but at least I am able to connect people who may well end up doing business together.

This apparent random set of events is in fact not as lucky as it may seem on first impression. The thing is once a part of your brain called the reticular activating system (RAS) has been made aware of something, sub-consciously you become far more open to looking for that person or thing, and suddenly there it is in front of you. It is why it is so important to write down or articulate the things you are after and the people you want to meet, because it opens up your mind (and other people’s minds) to the possibility of things, and your increased awareness of them means that invariably they materialise.

I have lost count of the number of times I have been working with clients and find that once we have identified clearly their personal and business goals, within weeks of starting, something significant and positive happens which takes them a big step towards their dreams. It isn’t apparently anything which I have done, but I have no doubt that my input makes them change the way they say and do things enough, to create opportunities which had previously not been open to them.

So if you need things to change for the better, come and talk to me, perhaps something great will happen in your life.

I thought that this week in particular it would be appropriate to write about respect and being prepared to listen to other people’s points of view, as we have been seeing and hearing a lot of aggressive posturing ever since Margaret Thatcher’s death.

The thing is that having respect for other people’s beliefs and values is very important in all walks of life. Hopefully we all have our own strongly held beliefs, but just because they are things that we believe in doesn’t necessarily make them right (or wrong for that matter) they are simply a matter of opinion. I am all for people expressing their opinions, and for promoting lively debate, it is part of what makes life interesting, although I am unlikely to change my beliefs or values due to someone else arguing their case strongly against mine. However, it doesn’t matter that I don’t listen to their point of view, and quite often I can see that they have valid reasons for believing what they do, although again it doesn’t necessarily make them right or wrong either.

The sad thing is that it seems that more and more nowadays, we are unlikely to be able to have, and even less likely to be able to voice our opinion, as we will be accused of being bigoted, or being racist, sexist, ageist, or any number of other biases. However, they are just opinions, so why shouldn’t we be able to stand by what we believe in without the “thought police” telling us what we should be thinking and saying.

Lively debate is generally a good thing in most situations. If everyone in business simply goes along agreeing with the management’s opinions all the time, the chances are that the business will never be anything more than mediocre. Be prepared to voice your beliefs, and listen to others, because that is what achieves the best results when deciding on the way forward.

It’s been an interesting but very frustrating month for me in March. Things have been really looking up, with business growing and that of my clients also really looking much brighter right up to the end of February. But suddenly with the horrible weather, everything seems to have slowed down again. I mentioned this to a friend who works in the city, and he said that what I was seeing was very much a reflection of the wider picture. Just when everything was starting to look good again, the brakes have been re-applied.

Being someone who always looks for the positive in everything, even I found it hard to handle yet another knock back. However, I still believe a sustained recovery is just around the corner, and I reminded myself that the darkest hour is always just before dawn, and maybe we are finally at that point.

So for those of you who are wondering if things are ever going to get better, now is the time to take heart. Keep doing as many of the right things as you can within your business, and as I have said recently refocus on your end goals because then you can keep being positive about what you are doing on a day to day basis.

No doubt all of us feel like “throwing in the towel” from time to time, but giving up should never be an option. There is always something else you can do, always another way forward or another option. If you are having trouble believing this, then find someone else to motivate you and keep driving you on.

That is what I do. So if you want a positive word or a friendly face to keep you going till “dawn,” why not get in touch.

For those of you who go to a number of networking groups, you will know that many of them have a rule whereby only one person from each business category can join. The point of this is to make sure that each member gets exclusivity to referrals in their area of expertise, which of course makes a lot of sense. Except that it doesn’t in every case, firstly, because competition is generally a healthy thing in business, and secondly and perhaps more importantly, not everyone likes or gets on with everyone, and therefore many referrals may never come to fruition.

Speaking to my son about his recent school report there were a couple of subjects in which he had not done particularly well, mainly because it was clear that he had not been so committed to the work involved. When I questioned him, he immediately said that it was because he didn’t like the teacher, and couldn’t get on with them (hence the lack of effort).

It occurred to me, that the same thing definitely applies in coaching. I only work with people with whom I have a positive rapport, because without this they are never going to put in the effort required to make the changes needed in their businesses. The best results are therefore always going to happen with the clients I get on with best.

No doubt the same applies in most businesses. As they say “people buy from people,” and I am sure that most of us would much rather do business with people we like and trust, than those who rub us up the wrong way.

So don’t be afraid of competition, or indeed losing some of your leads. You won’t get them all, and the ones you don’t get would invariably only buy from you once anyway. However, the more open, friendly, honest and trustworthy you are, the more people will want to work with you.